My Abnormal Life by Larkin

Well helloooooo, I'm back on the blogging world! I abandoned this for a while 'cause I lost my muse, literally my creativity boost just died. Anyhow, how ya'll been doin? I'm not so great to be honest. I turned 24 exactly 10 days ago and thats when it all went to fucking hell, A LOT has happened in 10 days, I don't even know how I have the strength to handle all of it.

If you guys have seen my videos and/or read my posts you know me, so I'm pretty sure ya'll know how intense I can get when I'm into someone. Well, that someone is very complicated ('cause I don't like them complicated right?) It all started a month ago when I met this girl, she approached us with such an energy that literally electrified me, so I asked one of my friends "who the hell is she?! I think I like her!" Of course she has a boyfriend (a very weird relationship if you ask me) but I said to myself "It's perfectly fiiine I mean, I'm just crushing on her and if something actually happens with her some time I'm sure it'll be just a one-night thing, I have it all under control" But...

(Yup, I am)

Obviously I started seeing her more often and I started falling, and falling, and FALLING! Why??? Because of her! It is all her fault, it is always their fault isn't it?? WHY does she have to be so fucking beautiful, and flirty, an irressistible. WHY does she have to have those eyes and those lips that make me MELT every fucking time I look at them, it's just not fair.. I say. Let alone her looks.. her personality, DUDE! She speaks french in the most sexy way, she just knows how to manipulate me. Anyway we started texting quite often, and everytime she looked at me, she looked at me with those flirty eyes, 'til one day June 16 2012, my birthday follow-up at a gay club called Monrooe and I got sooo drunk that she pushed me a little and I started crying non-stop for like 30 minutes (not even kidding) I exploded all my feelings right there. Anyway, we left the club together with a friend of ours and went to our friends house, she layed down, I layed down next to her and all of a sudden she was cuddling me (literally cuddling me) So I started talking, quite A LOT! I told her that I liked her a lot and kept asking for a kiss (no, chivalry is not dead yet, ladies! ;) )Of course every time I asked for her a kiss she said "No" So I just kept talking and talking. Yet the sings were very confusing to me, something like this...

Anyhow.. Tuesday June 19, we got together at my place her, a friend and I. We were just watching a movie, Gia to be more precise (Oh how I love it) and at 1:00am she had to leave, so I walked her to the door and she kissed me.. like french kissed me, and then kissed my neck and I was just sooo WOAH what the HELL?! We stopped kissing and I asked her "Why?!" she responds "I don't know" and I asked again, "Why are you doing this if you know how much I like you" and she answers "Je ne sais pas, maybe I like you too" and she leaves. Of course at this point I went crazy for her.

This past Friday we went to a bar, she took her boyfriend with her and I just hated that! I couldnt even look at her, or talk to her. When she talked to me I responded but looking away from her. Until she sat right in front of me, what the hell? She told me "I've been thinking of you the whole day, bathroom?" and I was like yeah ok! Of course I was so horny at the moment, but no, nothing happened in the bathroom. The thing is I'm so into her even though I know she's absolutely no good for me. No, I don't love her, but I like her quite too much and I don't know what to do, I just don't know how to get passed this, I mean its 5:22am and I'm writing in my blog 'cause I needed this, I needed to write it all down, she's a tease, and a flirt I mean.. her boyfriend is so cool, I actually like him and I do feel bad for him but I can't stop this feeling.

If I ask for advice all I get is the obvious "Let her go" "She's no good for you" "She's a player" "She's confused".. but I just want her. And that's my entry for the day. Quite depressing huh? I'll keep you updated though.